Instantly acquire all the inside information and shortcuts you need to survive in the most venal and treacherous town on Earth.

Never again confuse leverage with loyalty, the honeywagon with a four-banger, or the Golden Globes with some absolutely essential cosmetic surgery. Bask in the admiration of your fellow Hollywood wannabes as you pronounce confidently on what to do, what to say and where to be seen, and hold your own against the most ruthless and double-dealing of back-stabbers.

DO SAY: `Awfully sorry, but much as I'd love to tell you what I'm working on, Steven made me sign a strict nondisclosure agreement.'

DON'T SAY: `I'm working on a screenplay called `Killer Aliens Death Zone 11' and I'd be really grateful if you'd take a look at it.'