This autobiography recounts a twenty-year quest to experience an authentic faith in God. It wrestles conventional spirituality in ways previously unimagined, beginning with the biblical account of Jesus cursing a fig tree and the power this obscure image held in the author's mind. The quest spans college years at America's top evangelical college, his rejection of Christianity, a flight to Kodiak, hallucinogenic drugs, and a crazy motorcycle trip back to Alaska during the winter. There he meets a seventeen year old hippie girl reading Zelda Fitzgerald and they wonder together if they can fall in love like Zelda and Scott and beat madness. After an unlikely two-year courtship, they marry, and become Baptist Christians. They then return to "the lower 48," jumping full force into the Nashville music industry, and experience the break-up of a twelve-year marriage as all goes bust -- and finally, a revisiting from the curse of the fig tree story with fresh meaning and a hidden revelation.