"The Honest to God Bible," the latest entry into the field of humanity's sacred texts, has just been translated from its original Ancient Wingding by the renowned Wingding-ese expert, T.F. O'Donnell. Incredibly, the scrolls which make up the original biblical text are dated all the way back to the first century, and yet they are filled with eerily accurate references to social and cultural events that have occurred over the past two thousand years, not just up to the present but also into the far distant future. Although the circumstances of how the original scrolls were discovered is not entirely clear at this time, there is no question whatsoever as to the authenticity of the writings which have been certified to by the A.U.W.A., Americans for a United Wingding-ese Assoc. To quote Mr. Norman Felspar, the CEO of A. U. W. A., upon first hearing of the find: "Yup, it's real."