With an afterword by David Crystal and contributions from Philip Pullman, Jilly Cooper, Jeremy Vine and Meera Syal, all life is here. Become part of the Kitchen Table Lingo community and write your words in now!

'Seen the bloke with the bedooftey bum?'

'More testiculating on Newsnight......'

Does it sometimes seem like your family speaks its own language?

Families up and down the UK have their own special vocabularies. Discover tinsellitis sufferers in Tunbridge Wells, elephant users in Edinburgh and chobblers in Cardiff. Whether it's a slip of the tongue that becomes a permanent part of the family vernacular or a word invented when all others fail, Kitchen Table Lingo is part of what makes our language so rich and creative. This collection of hundreds of words from English speakers around the world - complete with space and an invitation to add your own - is a wonderfully entertaining celebration of the spoken word and the people who take pleasure in it.

After all, what other language has fifty-seven words for the TV remote control?