Hollywood action heroes shrug off bullet wounds like mosquito bites and jump through panes of glass as if their skin is made of asbestos. But how long would these gun-toting badasses last in the real world? Ain’t Got Time to Bleed catalogs the injuries endured by some of the best-known characters in the action-movie genre and uses authentic medical research to assess their real-life chances of survival. Featuring full-color illustrations that reveal how these hard-boiled icons would really look after being put through the Hollywood wringer, Ain’t Got Time to Bleed delivers twenty-nine hilariously grisly diagnoses that will change the way you watch action movies forever.

Illustrated by: Steven Lefcourt