It's a sorry fact, but vampires aren't what they used to be. I should know because I'm the last remaining member of my species from the ancient world; although if I'm brutally honest, this longevity is as much the product of becoming the alter idem of that club-footed Casanova, George Gordon, the sixth Lord Byron than any fortitude on my part. In truth, my roots are hinted at in that half-forgotten 'Fragment' that was Byron's contribution to the Villa Diodati ghost story competition - for His Lordship was familiar with the decomposing vampire legends of the Eastern Mediterranean, even if John Polidori was not! But I get ahead of myself ... [Charnel House Blues]