What your mother, Oprah, and Martha never told you Let's face it: we live in a complicated world. Lands' End has a swimsuit anxiety zones area on its website; a moisturizer can cost more than a weekend in Paris; they can send a man and a monkey into space, but they still can't find a cure for split ends.

Clearly, we all need essential life skills and operating instructions. But why should you have to learn from hard-won experience when Stephanie Pierson is willing to give you her vast life experience and wisdom (and share some of her more humiliating life lessons)?

This smart, funny, fabulous book will get you everything from a juicier chicken to a less hostile hairdresser. Read it and you will know what not to order from room service (eggs Benedict) to what never goes out of fashion (a crisp white shirt) to what is never in fashion (socks and Birkenstocks worn together). You'll know when a man isn't a keeper (he knows more Sondheim lyrics than you do), how to buy a house (location, location, location), how to assess an Oriental rug (condition, condition, condition), how to get the best price from the wedding caterer (say it's for a funeral), and how to get the dog in a custody battle (keep a dog-walking journal).