The constructive management of children's aggression is among the most difficult and important challenges for parents, mental-health professionals and other child-care givers. In this practical volume, Dr Parens provides an understanding of the nature of aggression and the rationale behind specific strategies and parental interventions to deal with six key parent-child interactions in which two basic forms of aggression are activated. This proper handling of aggression has profound implications for emotional development formation of personality, the child-parent relationship, and society at large. Aggressive behaviours attempt to help us control, act upon and master ourselves and the environment, including the people in it. Two major forms confront parents: Non Destructive Aggression, seen in assertive, non-hostile, self-protective, goal-achieving and mastery behaviours; and Hostile Destructiveness in anger, rage, bullying, torture and the like that is generated by excessive unpleasure or emotional distress.
The first type is highly desirable and necessary for survival and achievement, whereas hostile aggression leads to pain and suffering, even though at times it may be necessary for adaption of survival. Parens illustrates the parental intervention and the general steps that can be taken to promote parenting that optimises the child-parent relationship. Using case examples, he demostrates: dealing with excessive unpleasure; allowing sufficient and reasonable autonomy; setting limits; teaching how to cope with and express anger and hostility reasonably and in acceptable ways; handling rage reactions and tantrums; and, recognising the causes and circumstances of such emotional feelings as anxiety and depression in order to help the child cope with these. Empathy as an ongoing process, as a vital point of contact with the child is central in all of Parens' discussions. By empathy, he means that parents need to be emotionally available for the child or adolescent's appeal for help. Parents and mental-health clinicians can apply what they have learned here about children's aggression and what is required for healthy development to other areas of child-rearing as well.
We can seize the opportunities inherent in daily interactions with children of all ages to better influence the course of all of our lives. The book was written in collaboration with Elizabeth Scattergood, MA, William Singeltary, MD and Andrina Duff, MSS.