I have never been used as this loving believing I am been loved and cared for in return risking my freedom enriching him thinking I have found a breakthrough in life as I was made to see and believed till the truth showed itself inflecting more pain that my anger and pains are now the driving force of my revenge, to kill him will be a waste of my effort because the dead feel no pain but I will let him live as I unleash my anger and revenge on him that he will be the one begging for death to take him or be help to die by others unable to lift his hand to pull the trigger or walk to his death not being able to bear this pain and shame any longer