This volume contains the names of over fifty thousand metal bands. If one presumes that each of these bands had an average of four members, and multiplies that by the bands, one might figure that at least a quarter of a million humans have pledged allegiance to one of these groups of wandering beasts. Never has a music relegated to the underground of a civilization had so many devotees; no radio need transmit the power of this music, for it is sought fiercely and freely by the doomed and the dispossessed, whose ears are never touched by songs of love and weakness.

These names are invisible tokens to be spoken aloud, each representing a human quest for superhuman spectacle: shaking floorboards and quivering walls, split ears leaking blood, with faces painted and ornaments pointy, voices uttering eternal truths shunned by woman and man alike.

Praise for All Known Metal Bands:

'The best bathroom book ever.' Rolling Stone