Alfie's not really a bad guy. It's just that he has this overwhelming desire for the ladies. You might say that 'birds' are irresistible to him, sort of second nature. There's Ruby - 'A lust box in beautiful condition'; Clare - 'You're all lathered in sweat, Alfie'; Siddie - 'My regular Thursday night bint, a bit leggy for my fancy, but you make...