Based on surveys and interviews of two hundred gay men, this study presents an examination of contemporary urban gay men's friendships. Weaving historical and sociological research on friendship with firsthand information, Nardi argues that friendship is the central organizing element of gay men's lives. Through friendship, gay identities and communities are created, transformed, maintained and reproduced. Nardi explores the meaning of friends to some gay men, how friends often become a surrogate family, how sexual behaviour and attraction affects these friendships, and how, for many, friends mean more and last longer than romantic relationships. While looking at the psychological joys and sorrows of friendship, he also considers the cultural constraints limiting gay men in contemporary urban America - especially those that deal with dominant images of masculinity and heterosexuality - and how they relate to friendship. By listening to gay men talk about their interactions, Nardi offers a glimpse into the mechanisms of gay life.
We learn how gay men meet their friends, what they typically do and talk about, and how these strong relationships contain the roots of larger cultural forces such as social movements and gay identities and neighbourhoods. Nardi also points out the political and social consequences when friendships fail to provide support against oppression.