It's a dark day for the failing University of Mixton when vice chancellor Dr Turpin gets an ultimatum from Whitehall: improve massively or face closure. Enter Ed Prendergast, an enforcer bent on axing old degrees and launching trendy new ones in non-academic subjects. But Ed is faced with members of staff who are each pursuing their own, very dodgy, agendas. The ensuing imbroglio of student sit-ins, sex, spying, and sudden death gives rise to some gripping questions. How does the university's finest building get burned to the ground? What are green gorillas? Why are so many of Mixton's residents being burgled? And who is dealing drugs to both students and townsfolk, not to mention the vice chancellor? Will snowballing disaster spell the end of Mixton University? Or will it survive all challenges to show us the future of British higher education?