This is a how-to book for the academic life based on more than 50 years combined personal experience and 8 years of formal group mentoring as part of a workshop on these topics. The unwritten rules of university life are shared through fictional vignettes that are all too real. Secrets to successfully achieving short-term and long-term goals are provided in the progress timelines and suggested milestones. Beginning with selecting a training program and choosing a job, this book takes the student, fellow, or faculty member through the maze of academic secrecy to a new level of understanding and empowerment.