What do most people say they want from sex? After thirty years of working with couples, Dr. Marty Klein knows: Some combination of pleasure and closeness. But unfortunately, that's not what people think about during sex. Instead they worry about how they look, what their partner is thinking, what move they should attempt next. This constant self-monitoring takes all of the fun and closeness out of sex, and makes us feel like it is one more area where we have to perform. No wonder so many people stop doing it! In "Sexual Intelligence", Dr. Klein teaches us how to stop aiming for success and being normal and instead learn to care about two things: how does it feel, and does my partner enjoy this with me? It's a concept of sex that makes it impossible for people to fail, because we don't aim for success. In fact, he helps us realize that our desire to be normal is what keeps us from being our authentic sexual selves. In a groundbreaking exploration of the sexual mind, Dr. Klein explores the three components of Sexual Intelligence: The brain - information and knowledge; The heart - emotional skills; and, The body - body awareness and comfort.
"Sexual Intelligence" is the set of internal resources that allows you to relax, be present, communicate, respond to stimulation, and create physical and emotional connection with a partner. When you can do that, you'll have enjoyable sexual experiences regardless of what your body does, or doesn't, do. Rather than trying to fix any problems you may have with sex, by taking a step back and realizing all the baggage we bring into sex, we can learn to approach this area in our lives with awareness, openness, and renewed optimism.