While cats may hide their self-doubt behind dismissive 'you bore me' and 'I just sprayed the couch' smirks, underneath they are desperate to introduce meaning into their nine lives. This parody, based on classic self-help texts, has the answers.

Has your cat been moping around in that patch of sunlight for more than 23 hours a day? Has kitty been overindulging in Whiskas in order to fill the vast emptiness within? While humans have plenty of self-help books to aid us in times of existential crisis, our feline friends have had to go it alone. Until now. This personal-growth book for cats (and their humans) uses the framework of classic self-help tomes to shed light on universal kitty questions. With chapters like 'A Cat's Conversations with God' and 'The Fur Agreements', this guide will empower cats to make the 20 minutes they're awake each day the best 20 minutes of their lives.