347 Things You Don't Want to Know About THE WOODEN COW: 347. It is a book. 346. It is part novel, part COMIC STRIP. 345. Parts of it are funny. 344. It has PAGE NUMBERS. 343. It is made of recycled WOOD. 342. It is about people who hide inside a wooden cow, which is whole lot less messy than hiding inside a real cow. 341. It is for smart people like you who know that the whole world is made of WOOD. 340. Even the trees. 339. And the ocean . it is made of very wet wood. 338. It is for people who like burgers made out of genuine HAGGIS. 337. Which is made from genuine sheep intestines and other weird stuff. 336. Which is made of WOOD. 335. And so are you. 334. Go away.