'But, Pirate Captain, you love being a pirate', said Jennifer.'That's because I was looking at piracy through rose-tinted spectacles,' the Captain replied. 'There's very little job security. The hours are terrible. And I keep finding barnacles in my belly button.'
The Pirate Captain has finally had enough. Still reeling from his crushing disappointment at the Pirate of the Year Awards, he decides it's time to hang up his hat and ditch his cutlass. Begrudgingly followed by his sceptical but loyal crew, the Captain fixes his sights on a quiet life on the island of St Helena.

But his retirement plan is rudely disrupted by the arrival of another visitor to the island - the recently deposed Napoleon Bonaparte. Has the Pirate Captain finally met his match? Is the island's twenty-eight-mile circumference big enough to contain two of history's greatest egos? And will the pirates be able to settle the biggest question of all: who has the best hat?