When Paul meets Marie outside the headmaster’s office it’s hardly love at first sight. More like “what you playing at you frigging psycho?” And when the two sixteen-year-olds find out Marie is pregnant, things get a little dicey. But hindsight is a wonderful thing, and as a grown up Paul waits to meet his children for the first time it’s time for some serious thinking.

“I drink too much, my toilet looks like a bomb site and I eat crisps for breakfast. I’m not fit to be someone’s father”.