POLONIUS: "The beautiful beauty of Berry's art is he can't decide if Hamlet is an old maid like me or not." CLAUDIUS: "Berry brilliant at showing the tragic results of a college boy not getting any."

OPHELIA: "I agree with 'Ratio. Hamlet oddly sexmatized in his development. Berry nails it, next time less Hambone and more Hardbone."

REYNALDO: "Every hypocrisy on earth revealed here. Shaky tried to write a thriller for the bucks. Got thrown off by artsy-fartsy, which the keen Berry brilliantly avoids."

ROSENCRANTZ: "Berry brilliant here. Finer concluding couplets never penned."