* Which player is building a shark tank under the glass floor of his kitchen?
* Which WAG believes the first black President of the USA was Winston Churchill?
* Which chairman ordered his manager to field a starting line-up of 14 players?
* Which England international gave a glowing review to a restaurant which hadn't opened yet.. and nglected to mention he was its owner?
* Which diddy winger bought a giant Hummer... but was too small to climb into it?

For the past decade, the Daily Mirror's Steve Anglesey has been collecting footballers' foul-ups and foibles in his weekly 3PM column. Here is the first collection of the wildest and weirdest stories - plus Steve's definitive guide to the 100 maddest people in football.

With a foreword by Robbie Savage, illustrations by David Tarbox and hilarious unseen out-take photos from the Daily Mirror library