Since sixth grade, Debbie Woodlawn has nursed a secret, heart-searing crush for her best friend, Lisa. Side by side, they watched countless 80s sit-coms and took vows of premarital chastity. But Debbie's never really been a fan of Full House or abstinence rallies, and all those years of pretending go down the drain when Lisa hooks up with the most boring guy at school. This earth-shattering event provokes Debbie to do the unthinkable: confess her love to Lisa. But first, Debbie embarks on a holy quest guided by the two founding-and only-members of a wacky, made-up faith called the Church of Blue. Their fast-paced, hilarious adventure leads to nudity in a church coat closet, an unexpected kiss in a cemetery, and eye-opening revelations about someone Debbie's been ignoring far too long-herself.